Becoming a Fan

I remember the first time I saw Elvis and fell in love. I remember watching the Starsky & Hutch pilot and falling in love with Starsky and leaping into fandom…though it did not have that name then. My fandom crushes were never younger than I and, after Elvis, generally of an age with myself until X-Files and Nicholas Lea who is almost twenty years younger than myself. He was my last crush. The kind of interest that was sexual at base. Until X-Files, yes I came very late to fan fiction and slash, I was Mary Sue in all my mind movies with my favourites. It has been a very long time since I found anyone to engage my mind and imagination. Nick doesn’t work enough and his choice of roles hold nothing for me. I was content with the status quo until I started watching China Beach reruns and found myself enamoured of Jeff Kober only to realize that that Jeff Kober is long gone and he is much older now. I will still try to find things he has appeared in and watch for his films but it will be different this time. He is still younger than I am but it will be a shock to see him as he is today and I will not have the chance of watching him age. It is not a good thing to have so little to build on. So many pretty boys. I have commented before that there are no faces any more. No distinct star quality personalities. Jeff Kober has a face and that face appeals to me in a way that Brad Pitt’s does not. Sad that I will not have the thrill of watching him grow into old age from youth except in his films.

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