Gifts

My entire life has taught me one thing – there is no free lunch. There is nothing for nothing in this world. There is ALWAYS a price. Large or small, spoken or unspoken, sometimes self imposed but there is always a price.

Denise or Bea gives me a surprise gift – I love it, I am delighted to be thought of, I am anxious because now I feel I must reciprocate in some way. They will protest that it is not expected, they had no thought of getting anything in return – maybe – but as time passes they do think “gee, I did something nice for her and she never does anything nice for me”, and so it starts – the canker worm in the apple of the relationship.

Parents care for you and feed you and love you – maybe – and in return they expect, want, need, demand obedience, love and to feel pride and not shame at who and what you are and how you succeed in life.

The smallest transactions between people or animals requires a quid pro quo.

This might be considered a twisted view but I prefer to think realistically about things and it has been based on my 75 years on this planet.

IT IS MAKING ME CRAZY

The thing about Bernie is age doesn’t matter.  All he has to do is get in, kick out all the bandits, hire some decent people and be a good man who tells the truth.  Of course, it also won’t work for any candidate no matter how charismatic, young, perfect, good (like Obama) if the voters do not get some of those Republican Senators out of office.  Mitch McConnell blocked Obama and so did Congress so he was helpless to do much.  The people have to do a clean sweep.  The man in the President’s seat doesn’t have to live for a second term.  All he has to do is get Trump and his minions out, get the right people back as head of all the institutions like DOJ and EPA.  Roll back a shit load of Trump’s crap.  With the help of a majority in Congress and the Senate…put tax  back on the rich including Amazon (165million dollar house just bought by the man who never pays any corporate tax) that is sinful.
I think the American people have to stop thinking of the White House as it was in the past and what it is supposed to do for them and refusing to elect anyone who won’t pander to them.  Right now, it is 1939 and in less than a year the tanks will be rolling and anyone who disagrees with the White House will be dead or in a concentration camp so never mind what good things you want…start working on stopping the bad things and get the train of state back on track.  I listen to too many people saying…ooooh the blacks or women or gays or latinos or muslems won’t vote for.XXXX unless he tells them he is going to give them.  That might have been okay in a normal situation but this is not a normal situation…no one is yet asking Americans to put their bodies between bullets and the rights of others in the nation but they are demanding they get out and bloody well vote (Iowa was a disgrace) and people who are still waffling between Biden and Bloomberg and those still following Warren and Buttegieg…pick a place to make a stand and then hold it for the next nine months and proselytize.  I am so tired of talking heads on news shows and nothing being done and some jerk democrat politician this morning saying ‘wait and see, it is early yet, whistleblowers will come forth’  like hell.  I feel like Cassandra yelling at the people of Pompei as Vesuvius rumbles and they go on about their business buying fruit saying ‘wait and see, this isn’t bad, maybe nothing will happen’.  Dominos are falling daily and still there seems to be absolutely nothing anyone can do through rule of law.  (okay off my soapbox…like I said..I watch too much news tv these days on Youtube.  Morning Joe etc.

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN ASLEEP AND AWAKE

I was thinking of how crazy it has made me to watch ordinary Americans crowded into Trump rallies, cheering him on, wearing t-shirts they paid him for sporting his latest slogan and all this despite the lies, the criminal behaviour, the outright theft from their pockets. Last night I thought of Walmartians and the thousands of pictures available on the net of these strange people who, when you look at them, you think WTF were they thinking, are they blind…have they no shame? My mind wandered on to Vicks..famous and rich and loves to hurt dogs and thinks it is okay. On to Davidian’s compound, the mothership folk, Jones and his koolaid. It continued…fundamentalist christians that send money to men like Falwell despite knowing they use it to live high on the hog. I kept thinking about people who run puppy mills and perpetuate that kind of horror, Epstein and his little girls, suicide bombers promised what in return for their lives? On and on my mental progress through a world where horrors are routine everywhere and we live with them. Random people walk out with a gun and kill 1-50 other random people and nothing is done. Politicians like McConnell work the system up front and brazenly and dare anyone to say them nay and no one does or seems to have the power. 300,000 million people in the country and these few stand and thumb their noses at those that elected them and pick their pockets and the population seems totally helpless to stop them. The government takes a good chunk of the money the people sweat for, leaving them barely enough to keep a roof over their heads and feed their children. The government then spends the money on wars deliberately fomented so that the oil barons and the arms merchants get obscenely richer and the children of those same tax payers die far from home. Then some fat rich politician cuts food stamps, health care, allows pharmaceutical companies to raise the cost of necessary drugs out of the reach of the citizens that need them to survive, sells public land to rich friends, allows other rich friends to pollute drinking water, takes away protections for endangered species so other rich men can get richer and 300,000 million people seemingly can do nothing, in fact, 150,000 million cheer them on as their jobs disappear, they have to sell the family farm to a big conglomerate (you think that wasn’t planned), miners with black lung are given a two minute audience after travelling hundreds of miles to beg for help of their elected official. The craziness goes on and on and on and I am lying somewhere between asleep and awake and trying to see my way to somehow not caring. I want to stop feeling angry, I want to stop feeling astonished, surprised and sick. I want to stop wondering how this can happen. I want an answer. I can’t turn to a bible and let it tell me just accept the shit… that if you believe …something better will come in the next world. We are living the Peter Principle…we have all risen to our level of incompetence and can no longer deal effectively with our world and so we are like chickens with our heads cut off… running in circles for the little time we have left. There doesn’t seem to be an answer but if I can hold that image in my mind of Walmartians and Trumpers, maybe I can accept that I have always known there was crazy in the world..it is just that I forgot that most of it wears a normal face with their crazy on the inside and the poor Walmartians wear theirs on the outside for the world to see. They always tell speakers with stage fright to look out and picture the audience naked. From now on when I look at pictures of Trump supporters…I will see Walmartians.

Gore Vidal and Noam Chomsky Together

The truth of politics the world over is that what we are seeing every day reported by media is all bread and circuses to keep the attention of the masses of sheep from realizing they are surrounded by wolves that control every single politician…Republican AND Democrat..and the media. We are at their mercy (of which it appears these days..they have none). People are rioting in the streets all over the world ..and why? Because those greedy corporations and grotesquely rich people have gotten greedier and more careless of letting their actions show. They are moving too fast to undercut and take away the few chintzy rights the middle class and poor people have fought so hard to gain in the past 100 years. Brazenly handing out tax cuts to obscenely rich people and then claiming education, health care and veteran’s services need to be cut because there is no money. WTF they must really believe that the entire population is blind, deaf and dumb. They have managed to dumb down half the population and are working hard to undercut the rest but I think these old white men have forgotten..women, blacks and gays have gotten a taste of freedom and power and we will not be shoved back in the closet or kitchens of the nation. If we can’t stop these thieves any other way we will march and burn them to the ground. Drag them from their rich mansions and tear down their power structures. The French revolution did it…it can happen again. Money didn’t save even the King of France, what makes you think that when climate change starts destroying our lives that we won’t come for you. Memories are long and we know who is responsible. Right now the people are trying to let the laws of the land do the job of protecting the people from the predators who have gotten too greedy and shameless but make no mistake…we are not the peasants of France, we will take you down if the law won’t. Look out your window when the women march and imagine if we decided to stop being peaceful. We might bring the country down around our own ears faster than you are already doing it but you will be crushed under our feet first. Talk about Civil war….yeah some of your brain dead followers might get up in arms but thanks to the NRA the rest of us are armed too and we are a fuck of a lot smarter. Just because we are currently law abiding doesn’t mean you can keep pushing us over the brink. We are not lemmings, we can and will strike back.

Spent Way Too Much Money on Books Last Month

Just found this place (Bibliophage Space). I read a lot, and I read fast and I re-read. My current year on Goodreads challenge stands at 279 books..my goal is 365. Retired and single so lots of time and freedom to do nothing but read. I follow my inclination which can take me anywhere. I don’t look at books for their quality of writing, their current or past popularity. I do tend to avoid best sellers. There are only two books I haven’t finished in my life… Proust’s Remembrance of Things Past ..I have the trilogy format and twice now I have gotten halfway through book two and funked it..the first time was I was interrupted and when I came back I had lost the thread and so put it aside till I could restart…restarted twenty years later and that time it bored me..the people were just so annoying and I didn’t care about any of the characters. The other book is the Bible..prefer the Boomer version 🙂 I love biographies, books of lists and information, books of quotations. Not up on contemporary fiction, currently reading my way through my personal library. I got a Kindle a few years ago and now have 1000 books on it…spent a few years reading cosy mysteries. Then another couple of years reading fan fiction zines in three fandoms. This year I picked off my own shelves. I started January 1 reading Marion Zimmer Bradley’s Darkover series in order right up through the new ones written by others and then moved on to Anne McCaffrey’s Pern and then all her other series plus a few biographies about her. Hospital Station series by James White; Dorsai series by Dickson; Grimes series by A. Bertram Chandler, Falkayn&Van Rijn series’ by Poul Anderson; Flandry series by Poul Anderson; Flinx series by Alan Dean Foster; StarWellThurbRevolution by Panshin; Journeys of McGill Feighan by Kevin O’Donnell Jr., This week I am taking a breather from SciFi to read Do You Sleep in the Nude, Conversations in the Raw, People Are Crazy Here and Valentines and Vitriol by Rex Reed (tell me I am living in the past and you are right….the news these days is scary as hell. Next up and already on the bedside table is Spider Robinson’s Callahan series. Oh, I did read On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder which blew my mind. My bathroom reading is H.L. Mencken’s New Dictionary of Quotations on Historical Principles 1347 pages of the tiniest damn print..I doubt I will live long enough or my eyes hold out long enough to finish that one. All of the above are mostly paperbacks I have owned forever. I am also reading Charles Greville’s Diaries..on volume 2 of 6…feel like Sisyphus…politics ugh. On my Kindle I am reading Sympathy for the Devil about Gore Vidal. On my Kobo I am reading Who Let The Dogs in by Molly Ivins. So many books, so little time. To answer the question..I am a pig.

On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder

This is the most frightening book I have read in as long as I can remember. It was written a month before President Trump’s inauguration and published a month after. As I was reading I went on YouTube and watched a video of the author introducing his book in a book store and what he said twisted my guts in a knot because I had watched the campaign and it had upset me and made me deeply political for the first time in my life. I could not believe what was happening and spent a lot of time ranting and upset watching the, to me, systematic dismantling of democracy and a true copy cat 1933 Germany coming into being. The entire world seemed to have gone crazy and the sane members seemed helpless to stop it. Rule of law was disappearing. This was my personal point of view. Early in 2019, I turned off my television, I could no longer watch what was happening. I turned to the past and my books. But information seeped in and kept my personal pot boiling. This book just capped it all. It is three years of more and more, worse and worse and everything he warned about in this book, all the sign posts of fascism and dictatorships and people turning off their minds and becoming sheep…has all come true in every aspect. Hope is fading. We who are still fighting for truth and democracy leap at every renewed chance of hope like ‘impeachment’ as if it will save us and yet Trump’s minions appear on television lying through their teeth and are given a platform by mainstream media (out of fairness???) to spew their garbage and I know that the base of the mindless sheep that follow Trump just like the Germans followed Hitler in 1938 are out there sucking it up as mother’s milk. We on the left are so busy following the rules and not wanting to descend into the depths of depravity and hatred that the right has gone so far from rule of law and human decency that it is like a runaway train. If women would fight for women, if the gays would take to the streets again, if Greta’s climate change movement only gets larger. This is not 1933 Germany with its terrible problems and people already crushed under a burden imposed by outsiders…this is a wealthy country, with educated citizens who can see climate change, can see when a politician is trying to take away the rights of women and denigrate them, can see the people who are responsible for telling us the truth of what is happening around us…being vilified. Just like with climate change…we are at a tipping point…we must do something. Everyone who sees the truth must do something before it is too late. Bush started this ball rolling by taking away the rights of citizens under the guise of homeland security and Trump is doubling down all over the place and the sheep are cheering the coming police state. This book is a tiny bombshell of truth that should be carried in the pocket of every single citizen just as Mao’s little red book was carried by his.

Trump and Political Insanity

There are times I wish I was a praying woman.

kschmo7177

Trump impeachment..please god don’t let this be a limp balloon like all the other attempts to stymie the bastard. He is dirty and they know he is dirty and even if they can’t jail him, let history show he was tainted. Christ..they impeached Clinton for a blow job with a CONSENTING ADULT who actually pursued him (they keep forgetting that part as they moan about poor her…her and her fucking Presidential knee pads). So this guy is breaking every single damned rule (spoken and unspoken) in the book and no one is doing a damned thing. Congress stands helpless and the Senate is actively obstructionist and complicit.  The world is just sick to death of this man.

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